In STEM fields where data and logic often dominate, empathy can seem like a secondary skill. But research consistently shows that empathetic leadership drives better team performance, innovation, and retention, particularly for women and marginalized groups.
Tamiko Nettles has spent 20 years proving that empathy isn’t just a leadership add-on. It’s the foundation of sustainable, mission-driven work. As founder of Let Go Be Great, she advocates for marginalized communities including leaders, educators, students of color, and individuals experiencing homelessness.
Her unconventional approach uses children’s books and storytelling to teach empathy in organizational settings. Through honest conversations about vulnerability, burnout, and creating psychologically safe workplaces, Tamiko offers insights every woman in STEM leadership needs to hear.
This post distills six powerful lessons from her journey that can transform how you lead, sustain yourself, and build teams where everyone thrives.
1. Empathy Requires Intentional Practice, Not Just Good Intentions
Tamiko’s journey to advocacy began with a natural ability to see what others miss. She notices when people are overlooked, overwhelmed, or disconnected, and her instinct is to find solutions and support them.
“I’ve always had this ability to see people,” Tamiko shares. “Not just who they are in their role, but what they’re carrying outside of work that affects how they show up.”
Why this matters in STEM:
Technical environments often prioritize competence over emotional awareness. But the best leaders understand that team members bring their whole selves to work. Personal struggles, experiences of discrimination, imposter syndrome, and burnout all affect performance.
How to practice empathy intentionally:
Observe beyond the surface: Notice changes in behavior, energy levels, or communication patterns. These often signal underlying struggles.
Ask better questions: Instead of “How’s the project going?” try “How are you feeling about your workload right now?”
Create regular check-ins: One-on-one meetings focused on wellbeing, not just deliverables, build trust and awareness.
Educate yourself: Read about experiences different from your own. Follow diverse voices in your field. Attend workshops on inclusive leadership.
Empathy doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and that’s okay. Like any skill, it improves with intentional practice and commitment. Building empathetic leadership also strengthens the professional relationships you develop at industry events.
Read more: Networking Tips for Women: How to Build Lasting Connections for Your Career.
2. Use Storytelling to Address Blind Spots Without Defensiveness
One of Tamiko’s most innovative strategies involves using children’s books and short stories to teach empathy in organizations. This might sound unusual for professional development, but it’s remarkably effective.
“When I use fictional characters, leaders can see workplace dynamics without feeling personally attacked,” Tamiko explains. “They recognize behaviors in the story that mirror their teams, but there’s enough distance to discuss honestly without defensiveness.”
Why storytelling works:
Fiction creates psychological safety: People can examine problematic behaviors through characters without admitting personal fault.
Stories engage emotions: Data presentations appeal to logic, but stories activate empathy and make concepts memorable.
Narrative provides context: Stories show how actions affect others over time, revealing consequences leaders might miss in daily interactions.
Characters serve as mirrors: Readers see themselves reflected and can identify their own blind spots more easily.
Applying this in STEM leadership:
Share case studies during team meetings that illustrate communication breakdowns or bias without pointing fingers at specific people.
Use scenarios in training sessions where fictional teams navigate conflicts similar to your workplace challenges.
Recommend books or articles that explore leadership themes relevant to your team’s current struggles.
Organizations like Harvard Business Review regularly publish leadership case studies that create this productive distance for reflection.
Developing these communication and influence skills is essential for women advancing into senior roles.
Read more: Leadership Advancement for Women in STEM.
3. Listen More Than You Speak, Then Act on What You Hear
Tamiko emphasizes a principle many leaders struggle to implement: listen more than you speak, and respond to what you hear.
“Hearing feedback isn’t enough,” she states. “You have to act on it or explain transparently why you can’t right now. Otherwise, people stop trusting you with their truth.”
The listening-to-action framework:
Create structured opportunities for input: Regular surveys, suggestion boxes, town halls, and one-on-ones all serve this purpose.
Ask specific questions: Vague prompts like “any concerns?” rarely yield honest answers. Try “What’s one thing preventing you from doing your best work?”
Allow silence: After asking questions, pause. Let people gather their thoughts. Resist filling every quiet moment.
Take visible action: When you implement feedback, announce it publicly and credit those who suggested it.
Close the loop: For feedback you can’t act on, explain why and what alternatives you’re exploring.
This principle matters especially for women in STEM who have experienced being ignored or dismissed. Research from McKinsey & Company shows that employees from underrepresented groups are more likely to leave organizations where they don’t feel heard.
When you master listening and responding authentically, you build the trust necessary for effective leadership and create teams where people feel genuinely valued.
4. Vulnerability Is a Leadership Strength, Not a Weakness
Tamiko challenges the myth that leaders must project constant confidence and have all the answers. She advocates for vulnerability as a leadership tool that creates psychologically safe teams.
“When leaders share their struggles, they give permission for others to do the same,” Tamiko notes. “This creates healthier team cultures where people feel safe saying ‘I’m not okay.'”
What vulnerability looks like in practice:
Admit when you don’t know something: “I’m not sure about the best approach here. Let me research and get back to you.”
Share appropriate struggles: “I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with the project timeline. I’m working on better prioritization.”
Acknowledge mistakes openly: “I made the wrong call on that decision. Here’s what I learned and how we’ll adjust.”
Ask for support: “I need help thinking through this challenge. Can we brainstorm together?”
Why this matters for women in STEM:
Women leaders often face higher scrutiny and are penalized more harshly for mistakes than male counterparts. This creates pressure to appear perfect, which is both unsustainable and isolating.
Vulnerability doesn’t mean oversharing or appearing incompetent. It means being human, acknowledging limitations, and modeling the behavior you want your team to exhibit.
When you lead with appropriate vulnerability, you create space for others to bring their authentic selves to work. This increases trust, creativity, and team cohesion.
Curious about the specific books Tamiko uses? Listen to the full podcast episode where she shares examples and describes the transformations they create in organizations.
5. Rest Is Resistance: You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup
Tamiko addresses one of the most critical challenges for mission-driven leaders: sustaining yourself while doing demanding work. She uses the powerful metaphor of pouring from an empty cup.
“When you’re running on empty, you can’t serve anyone effectively,” she emphasizes. “Rest isn’t selfish. It’s necessary for fulfilling your purpose.”
The burnout reality in STEM:
Women in STEM face unique burnout risks due to:
- Higher representation burdens (being asked to serve on every diversity committee)
- Emotional labor of supporting other women and minorities
- Proving competence repeatedly in male-dominated spaces
- Balancing technical excellence with relationship building
Tamiko shares personal experiences of being in food lines while professionally dressed, highlighting how even advocates face struggles. Her transparency normalizes the reality that doing meaningful work doesn’t exempt you from hardship.
Practical rest strategies:
Schedule non-negotiable breaks: Put them on your calendar like any meeting. Honor these commitments to yourself.
Model rest for your team: When you take vacation, truly disconnect. This gives others permission to do the same.
Redefine productivity: Rest is productive because it prevents burnout that sidelines you for months.
Identify your recharge activities: For some it’s exercise, for others it’s creative hobbies or time with loved ones. Prioritize what actually restores you.
Set boundaries: Learn to say no to requests that drain you without advancing your goals or values.
Remember: taking care of yourself enables you to take care of others and do your best work. Rest is strategic, not selfish.
Want to hear Tamiko’s full perspective on leading when exhausted? The podcast episode includes powerful stories about navigating difficult seasons while maintaining your mission.
6. See People Beyond Their Titles and Define Success on Your Terms
Tamiko’s approach to leadership emphasizes seeing people as whole humans, not just employees filling roles. She also advocates for defining success for yourself before others impose their definitions on you.
Seeing people completely:
Understand their context: What responsibilities do they carry outside work? What barriers do they face?
Recognize invisible labor: Who mentors others informally? Who mediates conflicts? Who remembers birthdays? This work matters even when it’s not in job descriptions.
Value diverse contributions: Not everyone leads the same way or demonstrates excellence identically. Broaden your definition of valuable contributions.
Connect personally: Learn about people’s interests, families, and goals beyond their current position.
This holistic view creates more effective, compassionate leadership that recognizes and develops talent others might overlook.
Defining success for yourself:
Tamiko’s advice for women leaders is powerful: write down your vision of success before others influence it with their limitations or expectations.
Ask yourself:
- What impact do I want to have in my career?
- What kind of leader do I want to become?
- What does work-life integration look like for me?
- What am I willing to sacrifice, and what is non-negotiable?
Write these answers down. Return to them when facing decisions. Let your definition of success guide your choices, not someone else’s narrow expectations.
Tamiko’s Legacy Vision: Creating Empathetic Organizational Cultures
When asked about legacy, Tamiko’s answer is clear: she wants people to never lose sight of why they started their work and to create spaces where those closest to the work are heard, valued, and supported.
This vision has profound implications for women in STEM leadership:
Remember your “why.”: Technical work can become routine. Regularly reconnect with the problems you’re solving and the people you’re serving.
Elevate practitioner voices: Those doing the work daily often have the best insights for improvement. Create systems that capture and act on their knowledge.
Build inclusive cultures: Don’t just hire diverse talent. Create environments where everyone can thrive, contribute fully, and advance equitably.
Mentor the next generation: Share your journey honestly, including mistakes and struggles. Help others avoid unnecessary hardships while preparing them for inevitable challenges.
Measure what matters: Beyond productivity metrics, track team wellbeing, psychological safety, and whether people feel heard and valued.
Tamiko’s legacy goals remind us that individual success means little if we don’t create systems that support everyone’s success.
Conclusion
Tamiko Nettles proves that empathy isn’t soft leadership. It’s strategic leadership that creates high-performing, sustainable teams. For women in STEM navigating male-dominated environments, these lessons offer both validation and practical tools.
You don’t have to choose between technical excellence and human connection. The best leaders integrate both. They see people completely, listen actively, share vulnerably, rest intentionally, and define success on their own terms.
As you advance in your STEM career, remember Tamiko’s central message: never lose sight of why you started this work. Stay connected to your purpose. Create spaces where others feel heard and valued. And take care of yourself so you can sustain your mission for the long term.
Ready to dive deeper into these insights? Listen to the full podcast episode with Tamiko Nettles.
You can also find Tamiko:
- Social media: @LetGoBeGreat on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn
- Website: www.letgo-begreat.com
Her resources include children’s books used in organizational settings, journals for reflection and growth, and consulting services for teams wanting to build more empathetic cultures.
